an email i wrote to my friend jaime. i haven't seen her in some time and it turns out she's been in a funk which is, at least sounding, much like my own. this email became a bit of a journal entry...i feel as if i was writing to myself-an email i would want a friend to have sent me:) thanks jaim:
in regards to your mood lately. A) i hope you're feeling better B) i'm glad it's not just me and C) (and i say this one so that you and I BOTH can hear it...as i need it as well) even though you're not in Japan..for example...it doesn't mean you can't feel crappy. Yes, tenderhearted as you are (i.e. concerned about other's lives and the hardship and especially in comparison to your own) you (we) must acknowledge our feelings. Feel our feelings. Try not to let them (or the suppression of them) ruin us (or our day, month, year, week...or....us!).
I've been generally down lately myself. everything feels off, hard, difficult...in the grand scheme of things no, things are not off, hard, difficult or etc...but they're just not dreamy. They don't feel easy or seamless. "My job sucks," "my house is draining," "my dogs are tiresome and driving me crazy," are all silly things to complain about...but when they contribute to an overall sadness and dissatisfaction of life--i guess that's nothing to ignore. I chalk it up to my general imbalance which contributes to my poor moods and being detrimentally hard on myself but i know it's not JUST that (although, that's not to say that the above mentioned is not a HUGE contributor) but all those little things that make the minorly lack-luster feel FLIPPING LACK-LUSTER.
In the grand scheme of things we are blessed, healthy, surrounded by good and positive (look at my complaints...the positive of these "sad/bad/blah things" =1) i have a job, 2) i own a home 3) i have pups and can afford to have extravagance things like dogs...pets...the unnecessary) but again, just because we have these blessings doesn't mean everything can be emotionally A++ all the time. Know you're loved and i guess encouraged-this is my sad form of encouragement-and keep your beautiful smile going sister...if not for you, for me!
now, i'm gonig home to make a list of good things in MY life...so i can maybe get up and out of this f-u-n-k.
love to u.