Thoughts on Marriage After Year1: Part 1

So, here's the deal. I'm likely going to make you HIGHLY uncomfortable for the duration of this post (and maybe even the next.) This post is going to consist of me being sappy, pouring my feelings out and in general will just be very emotional....then again...who knows? I haven't even written it yet. HOWEVER, here are a few reasons I am writing it at all.

#1) there are a handful of things that happen to you when you get married regarding how others view you as a person and/or what you MUST be planning on doing with your life. Here are some of them:

  1. Everyone thinks that now that you're married, you must be about to pop out a child. "SO, when are Little Dahlahusers' coming?" Folks have passed the "CONGRATS, when is the date?" or "AWE! How did Andy propose?" questions and have flown right into having kids (please remember at the time of marriage I was 23 and well, I am...me...enough said...no?)
  2. Many of your friends who perhaps aren't in committed relationships or are maybe still in school...don't have solid jobs or still enjoy "getting their drink on" at a bar full of 20-somethings shoved sardine style into a far too small and never FULLY cleaned space feel like "you have you're life, like SOOOO together." This is simply comical, period. . . .mainly for reasons that consist of A) the fact that in joining two previously independent lives together you have literally started from square one...which in turn equals anything really even CLOSE to "having your life sooooo together" and B) because getting married sort of makes you a totally different person (in many respects...don't get all literal and psychoanalytical on me now) which again...equals bar from "having your life soooo together." In many ways, marriage is creating a COMPLETELY new life for yourself. I have found out MUCH about myself (not to mention Andy...and you think you know someone when you get married...ha!) in becoming a wife. Many of said things are things that likely lived deep within me before marriage...however I was simply not aware of them all, or fully, or both, or whatever.
  3. Apparently, because you get married, you're now a wealth of dating advice. I have MANY friends ask me what "this" means or what "that" means or, "since you're married.....etc." I quickly remind people that I hardly dated and put up with near to nothing in regards to dating and thus am not The Dating Guru. Do I wish I was? Sometimes....sometimes.

Anywho, onwards. When recently asked about what I personally feel in regards to relationships and knowing that Andy was "The One" I found myself answering in a number of ways. Eventually, post conversation (this specific converstaion) my thoughts were consumed by this image of "The One" and if I even really believe in that mubo jumbo and blah, blah, blah. Basically what I came up with was something around the idea that "if you don't know...you really know...ya know?" And then it dawned on me, if you don't know, there's your answer. If you don't get a magical feeling, there's your answer. If you're trying to make it work but in the back of your mind "just can't see how it will work" uh hello...there's your answer. But here is the kicker....I realized that "by not knowing you know, dude" resonated with me. Consequently, "I just knew" was the truth and not really...mumbo OR jumbo.

OK, tangent time. When I was young, really young as I know what some of you are saying, "haha! when she was young!? She IS young!" I"m talking 6,7,8,9 and upwards of 13-years-old. I would tell myself stories...yes, I would talk to myself. Self-realization, self-actualization, day dreaming, having no friends...call it what you must. I did it. I haven't done it, however, since. I just all of a sudden stopped. Sometimes these "stories" were legitimate stories-ya know-made up wishes, dreams, tales of other's lives, etc. Other times they were recaps of my day or full on explanations of concepts I had come up with/conclusions regarding my theories on life. In other words, I was real deep man....;). But again, by high school, they no longer existed.

THEN, last night while thinking of a handful of friends who are in fairly new relationships or have recently asked me about what I think about this interaction or that comment (blah, blah relationship talk-WHICH I love by the way. In fact, I love it almost as much as re-capping the last RHW episode) I started talking to myself about Andy.

Until Part 2,

Peace and Love,


No comments:

Post a Comment